H O M E R I S M S
(No, not Greek poetry.)
Figures of Speech from "The Simpsons"
Lisa: Solitude never hurt anyone. Emily Dickinson lived alone, and she wrote some of the most beautiful poetry the world has ever known... then went crazy as a loon.
Ned Flanders: You ugly hate-filled man.
Moe: Hey. I may be ugly and I may be hate-filled but ... uh ... what was that last thing you said?
Figures: Amphidiorthosis, Paromologia
Apu: Hello. I am not interested in buying your house, but I would like to use your rest room, flip through your magazines, rearrange your carefully shelved items and handle your food products in an unsanitary manner. Ha! Now you know how it feels! (runs off])
Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
Term: Converse accident fallacy; Martyria
Marge: Homer, I thought our marriage could survive anything, but last night, you not only crossed the line, you threw up on it.
Figure: Dirimens copulatio
Lisa: Dad, don't you think you're overreacting?
Homer: Don't you think you're underreacting?
Lisa: This conversation is over.
Homer: This conversation is under.
Principal Skinner: That's why I love elementary school, Edna. The children believe anything you tell them.
Moe: Oh Lisa, there's no record of a hurricane ever hitting Springfield.
Lisa: Yes, but the records only go back to 1978 when the hall of records was mysteriously blown away.
Figure: Epitrope, Paromologia
Homer: We can outsmart those dolphins. Don't forget -- we invented computers, leg warmers, bendy straws, peel-and-eat shrimp, the glory hole, AND the pudding cup.
Mother Simpson: [sings] How many roads must a man walk down / Before you can call him a man...
Lisa: No, dad, it's a rhetorical question.
Homer: OK, eight.
Lisa: Dad, do you even know what "rhetorical" means?
Homer: Do I know what "rhetorical" means?
Figure: Hypophora; Erotesis
Barlow: Sideshow Bob, councilman Les Whinen says that you're not experienced enough to be mayor. Sir, what do you have to say about that?
Sideshow Bob: I'd say that Les Whinen ought to do more thinking and less whining!
B.T. Barlow: Mr. Mayor, I have a question for you.....what if YOU came home one night to find your family tied up and gagged, with SOCKS in their mouths. They're screaming. You’re trying to get in but there's too much BLOOD on the knob!!!!!
Quimby: What is your question about?
B.T. Barlow: It's about the budget sir.
Terms: Pathos; Cohortatio; Paraenesis
Sideshow Bob: By the way, I'm aware of the irony of appearing on TV in
order to decry it, so don't bother pointing that out.
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