Figures of Speech Served Fresh

Entries by Title

• History Is Bunk!
• The Small Print Is On the Wall
• The President Is Feeling Bleu
• Making Sweet Love with a Sentence in a Hayloft
• And We Won’t Call Him a Crazy Old Man Who Yells at His TV
• Being Famous Means Never Saying You're Sorry
• What's a "Period"? It Comes from the Breath of the Gods
• The Best Pickup Line? "Ethos."
• Tired of Office Clichés? Try These!
• Prosopopoiea: Pronounce It, Then Use It
• Talk Your Way Out of a Traffic Ticket
• Can Cicero Help You Snag a College or Job?
• The Art of Framing
• When Is Manipulation a Good Thing
• The Ultimate Rhetorical Strategy: Honest Flattery
• Thou Shalt Not Command a Mood
• The Devil to Pay
• Where the Heck Is Figaro?
• How Do You Begin an Argument?
• Trope or Hypallage? You Decide!
• Define Lines
• Monkeys! Aliens! Naked Creationists!
• Socrates Concludes that the Government Must Stay Closed!
• Socrates Interviews Ted Cruz
• Socrates (Insanely) Interviews Reid
• Socrates Interviews Boehner
• Now with 30% More Persuasion!
• What Anthony Weiner Can Teach Us (Really)
• We Suppose "Le Slurpe" Was Taken
• Nerdy Dancing as Decorum
• Should We "Invite" Instead of Manipulate?
• What if SCOTUS Sounded Like Americans?
• Persuade by Shutting Up
• Making Your Character Count
• Stop Apologizing!
• Figaro Rewrites a Half-Naked Woman
• How to Screw Up
• "I Would Not Smell the Foul Odor of Your Name"
• Gesture Like Hillary
• How to Write an Inaugural Address
• Is "Facism" a Fallacy?
• What's a Euphemism for Euphemism?
• It's a Bill, Not a Check
• It's Not a Tragedy
• Learn Rhetoric, Get Rich
• Big Mayors Don't Hug
• Guy Fieri, Are Your Ears Burning?
• Sex! Betrayal! Aristotelian Logic!
• Republicans, Meet Eddie Haskell
• Which Meme Won the Debates?
• Take My Opponent. Please.
• "He Should Be Ashimed"
• And Our Favorite Line of the Night Goes To...
• This Time Obama Shows Up
• Look, What's Wrong with Saying "Look"?
• A Prez Debate Interview with Figaro
• The Kid Wins the Veepathon
• How Did Romney Win?
• Left Words, Right Words
• Ready for Some Wednesday Night Debateball?
• Perish the Thought
• For Beachbody Coaches
• Eddie Haskelling Paul Ryan
• Persuasion's Fulcrum
• The Obvious
• Speaking of Logic
• Should Logic Be King?
• "Thank You" Does Aural
• Short Boors and Hookers
• Forward!
• Where Should You Study Rhetoric?
• When to Infinitively Split
• Style Makes the Geraldo
• The Rhetorical Hoodie
• Go the F#%K to the Dictionary
• Step Away From That Toy Analogy!
• Aristotelian Consulting
• Bogarting Eponyms
• Kony 2012
• Ban the Teleprompter!
• Hold the Cheese
• We'd Like to Meet That Teacher
• Death to the War Metaphor!
• Word Crushes
• Whitney's Great Oration
• Club That Comma!
• Looks Great, Less Filling
• Who Won the Super Bowl Ads?
• Obama’s Economy: Like a Rock
• Interrupters Aren't People
• Gingrich Goes White!
• Figaro's Favorite Campaign Ad
• LOL Punditcats
• Say Tomahto and I'll Kill You
• The Poet Obama
• And Get Off That Lawn I Paid For
• To Be or Naughty Be
• In Denver?
• Socialist Whores, Unite!
• I Came, I Saw, I Dodged
• What a Drag!
• Tweet Talk
• Doctoring "No"
• Figaro on the Radio
• Figaro Brings You the Gift of Immortality
• His Pants Are on Fire, Too
• She's Too Late for Silent Films
• Republicans Sure Can Shovel!
• Capitol Hill Channels Robert Frost!
• "Never His Love."
• A Turning Around
• Hey, AP English Teachers!
• Mired Forever in Their Debt
• Yankees and Aliens
• Here on Hatch's Isle
• Folk Wisdom Teeth
• The Sleepy Modifier That Could Save Us
• Heads We Win, Tails We Win More
• The Russian Doll Figure
• Witty Mr. Potatohead
• How to Block a Metaphor
• A Trope You Can Throw
• How to Paradoxify a Character
• Paradoxical Movie Stars
• Oxymore, Not Less
• Why You Should Teach Four -Letter Words to a Kid
• Would You Let Him Mandate Your Daughter?
• Three Ways to Play with a Cliché
• John Cleese's Parrot Is Still Dead
• The Middle Cat Factor
• The Bin Laden Gesture
• Tale of the Private Are
• Why Liberal Rhetoric Loses
• Right-Wing Labels Translated
• Uh, Not THAT America
• Just the Factuals, Ma'am
• Actuary Strong
• We Prefer Virgin Sacrifices
• The Man Who Mumbled Wolf
• Folk Music Linked to Obesity
• A Civil Conversation
• The Freshman 15 Is Now the Perp 5 to 10
• The Only Letter to Become President
• Sneak Preview of Figaro's Next Book
• The Ditz Heard Round the World
• Charlie Like a Fox
• Sir Michael Tyson's Delivery
• Yo, Check Out This Dude’s Metonymy
• Metaforking
• "Do that thing where you fart through your head!"
• Death Panelicious
• “I Want Us to Live Up to Her Expectations”
• Permissible Pocket Picking
• The Dumbest Judge in America
• Sacred Cowardice
• Fangs for the Metaphor
• The Attractive Worm
• Porn for Spies
• “We’re Anesthetizing Our Children”
• Freaks and Stoners, Jesus and Meth
• Can He Be as Good as He Does?
• Fry Up Some Words
• How Well Do You Know the Constitution?
• George Philip’s Awesome Impactfulness
• Civility and Suicide
• D’Hominem Attack
• Candid Corn
• The Most Sublime Speech This Year
• Study? Fuggedaboudit!
• Mrs. Figaro Rocks the Marriage Boat!
• Heil, Glennster
• Rhetorical Eye of the Storm
• Sign of the Times
• We Want to Meet Ms. Pneumatic
• It's OK. We're Already Killing Gays.
• Figuring Boris and Natasha
• Plus, the Maggots Skipped the Baggage Fee
• Incentivized Yet?
• Small People Are Tropical
• Do Small People Have a Figure?
• Blind, Yes. Faith, No.
• Would an Amorous Ferret Be Better?
• The Devil Wears Wingtips
• Washington Made Me Cuckold Myself!
• Left Behind
• You Shake. I’ll Stir.
• Git the Shotgun!
• She Said Magma
• The Genuine Article
• Shoot First!
• Brewmasturbatory
• Go Ahead. Make My Amendment.
• What’s a Natoma Worth?
• Wants a Punning Dime
• Izzums Feewing Bwue?
• Aw, Shoot
• This Is Your Federal Budget
• Figaro Isn't Bi. He's Non.
• Can't Help But Damn the Torpedoes
• J.D. Gets More Privacy
• Prick It. Does It Bleed?
• A Sincere Review of the SarcMark
• Yo, Little Town
• Onward, Christian Conspirators
• Big Planets Don't Cry
• Gaga Logic
• Word It Like Warren
• Cynics: Do Not Read
• Hiding It Under the Afghan
• GOP Boots the Gipper!
• Who Does No. 2 Work For?
• Kitsch and Table
• Palin: Bush in Diguise!
• Biden Him Good
• I, Like, Know
• Bikinis Save Energy
• Scalia Re-invents Reality TV
• Sorry About the Daily Figure
• This Flip Is a Flop
• We Mean, Ick
• She Can't Be Stopped
• Hope Is an Old Muscle
• Anvil Now Falls on Head
• Johnny, McCain, Please Report to the Principal
• He Was the Best of Preachers, He Was the Worst of Preachers
• The President's Scan Showed Nothing, However
• Is That a Salute or Are You Glad to See Me?
• Nader’s Nadir
• Dead to Lights
• Smoke-Filled Roon
• It's My Party, I'll Deny If I Want To
• Dude! Want to Smoke Some Mob?
• And the Governor Would Mispronounce Him
• Smackdown!
• Channeling MLK
• Go Figure
• Human Sacrifice, Dogs and Cats Living Together!
• When Do We Want It? Never!
• Trust the (Armed) Force
• Bless You
• Tax Pair
• Forecast of Comfort and Joy
• Putin In the Rough
• Plus He Stopped Beating His Wife
• Beware the Dirimens Room
• Much-Tell Hotel
• Message: "We Car."
• The Figurative Love Potion
• Latter-Day Mitt
• Iran a War, I’m Running a War…
• Good Thing God's a Republican
• Throw Mr. Sand on the Fire
• It's Magic!
• The Rhetorical Antidote to Football
• Does This Make My Bottom Line Look Fat?
• They'll Only Listen If It's Evil
• The Hills Are...ALIVE!!!!
• Best Figure for Sounding Poetic
• Best Figure to Bring an Audience to Its Feet
• Best Figure for Snappy Answers
• Best Figure for Getting a Laugh
• Frasier for President!
• He Just Cornered the Cat Vote
• He’s Really a Robot Controlled by Donny Osmond
• You Got a Pretty Mouth, Cousin Barack
• Űberwitty!
• Saint Al
• Gimme the Keys, Genocider!
• Rudy Rules Rhetorical Roost; Mitt Merely Moans
• Annoy a Moderate. Make Stupid Bumper Stickers.
• He's Just Being Ironic
• Welcome to the Su-damn-premes
• Under the Influence of Being a Jerk
• All Dilberts Are Alike
• They Say She Wears a Transparent Proxy
• Mandela Might Not Appreciate This Figure
• The Four Most Dangerous Figures
• Super Kindergarten Rhetoric!
• Master of the Dark Art
• Smells Almost Like Victory!
• Take Orally. May Cause Side Effects.
• I’m Not an Actor But I Played One on TV
• This Joke Isn’t Kosher
• Penalty for Early Withdrawal
• Hear Why John Quincy Adams Is So Darn Sexy!
• Iraq-Nam
• Roswell, We Have a Problem
• And Hillary Is the Covetous Dragon
• Thar He Blows!
• Improve Your Waste Line
• Talk About Worshiping the Press...
• How to Write a Winning College Essay
• Operation Hairy Eyeball
• Fatso
• Naked Is the New Clothed
• Bondage and Figuring
• It’s Alive!
• Now, Scoot!
• Color-Blind Justice
• Paris Learned Figures in Prison!
• Let’s Disagree to Disagree
• Pumping America
• Did the Earth Move for You?
• But the Chicks Really Dig His Fake-Abs Shirt
• But His Penmanship Is First Rate
• The Political Yawn
• The Show Moved Me -- Far from the Television
• Figaro Beats His Son!
• We’re Merismized
• What the Well-Dressed Terrorist Is Wearing
• Line? What Line?
• The President Wants the Wish Bone
• Where’s Your Green Card?
• It's Time Somebody Got Smitten
• You’re Such a Lovely Audience
• Little Style, Much Substance
• She Doesn’t Look a Day Over 200
• Cannibalism in the Bible!
• You’re Getting Warmer
• Why Queens Don’t Have Video Cameras
• You...You Moderate, You!
• Our President Is a Right Proper Grammarian.
• (Gulp)
• Watch Me Reveal My Strategy
• They Just Happened to Be There When I Fired Them.
• Speechless Speech
• And He Makes Fun of Other People’s Looks?
• We’re Sorry, But Soap Is Not a Cause
• Feel Free
• Doing Pop
• Go Ahead. Make Her Day.
• We Trespassed (Not!)
• But God Still Won’t I.M.
• Gonna Take a Bureaucratic Journey.
• Conversationgate
• Argue With Me!
• So, Duh
• She's Not Talking Straight
• The Intellectual’s Incentive Program
• Figure of Speech: Shameless Plea
• But Seriously.
• Carrey’s Got a Brand New Bag
• Nor Will We Support the Rumor That Bill Wears Thongs
• A Fine Upstanding Liar
• The Salmon Suggest a Different Kettle of Fish
• Down on the Pharm
• Smile When You Run That.
• Let 'Er Rip
• Chill, Dude
• It Holds Four Score Passengers
• May Cause Priapism Among Stand-Alone Systems
• The Republic Party for Which He Stands
• Take My Planet…Please.
• They Should at Least Wear Tights and a Cape
• We Fondly Hope to Manipulate You.
• Timing Is Everything.
• All in All, Quite Uplifting.
• We Sincerely Hope This Offends You
• The Mayor Talks Tough
• “Surge.” It’s Positively Electrifying.
• Jefferson Belongs in Gitmo
• Don't Sharpen That Handle.
• Indiana Jones and the Figure of Doom
• Take It to the Bridge, James.
• The Penguins Are Now Doing Dinner Theater
• A Rhetorical Wizard
• Yo, Earth!
• Spoonfeeding the Decider.
• We Suppose "Cut and Swagger" Is Out of the Question.
• Which Makes “Cats” the “Macbeth” of Its Time.
• Kicking His Evil Axis
• We Could Use a Civil Giblet.
• Kramer's Self-Lynching
• They Win the Squirrel Vote.
• Figaro Is a Draft Dodger.
• Our All-Time Favorite Defense Secretary.
• A Gadfly Flew Into His Mouth.
• Tweedle Dee Versus Tweedle Stupid.
• Vote for Dirty Books!
• A State of Disinterest.
• The First Botched Joke was the 2004 Campaign.
• Please Leave a Message
• Any Way You Slice It
• Do Babes Go for Guys with Figures?
• Darwin's Trick
• Sounds Better Than "Army Overcommitted."
• And Look at the Mess the Elephants Are Making
• Can We Elect Him Grand Vizier?
• Is That Why Popeye Eats Out of a Can?
• But His Colon Is the Decider
• N. Korea Makes a Face
• Bush Gets All Medieval on Their Donkey
• Congress Ex-Foleyates
• We Will Not Discuss Flatulence
• Take My War. Please.
• Congress Discovers Constitutional Fine Print
• Hold Still. This Is Good for You.
• Why Mommy Can't Win Elections
• Academia Goes to DefCon 3
• Onward, Christian Soldier!
• Bush Tells Logic to Make His Day
• We Are What We Watch
• Plus We Can Flirt on My Space
• But They Found WMDs in Saddam’s Brain Scan
• This Is the Drug Czar's Brain.
• Yeah, But the Republicans Keep Rolling Doubles
• And Now, the George Bush Orchestra Will Play a Swinging Patriotic Medley.
• Mad Ave's Sexy New Fantasy
• Plus, We'll Pay for Your Flights
• Down, Pluto. Play Dead.
• Stuff Happens to a Few Dead-Enders
• Today We're Ethnic-Profiling Ann Coulter
• I Will Use an Evil Device Called "The Internet"
• Let's Make Us Some Democracies!
• Politician Blamed for Planet's Hot Air
• Only Terrorists Wear Mullets
• For Best Results, Manipulate After Every Meal
• New Airport Activity: The Face Toss
• The Democrats Find a New Way to Lose
• A Sure-Fire Way to Convince Your Target Audience
• Dead Men Don't Say "I'm a Dead Man"
• Except in Texas, They Pretend to Like It
• A Glass Half Full of Quagmire
• And Hold the Ancho... I Mean, The Fish Whose Stench Offends Allah
• Whose God?
• Exceeding Bush's Attention Span
• Fo-Bros (Forgettable Brothers)
• But Enough of My Needs.
• SUVs Fall Off Cliff, Reporter's Prose Follows.
• A Senator's Constipation Problem
• Performing a Fallacious Act
• Al-Qaeda's Secret Weapon (Extra Butter, Please)
• The War Reaches a Climax
• Fiddling While Earth Burns
• Of Course, Lincoln Was a Republican
• They Are Due to Touch Us Again
• For the White House, This Is Torture
• And Lead Us Not Unto Krypton
• Hurricane Ka-Ching
• Flag Be With You
• Makes You Want to Boot Them
• Nobly Battling Congress's Al Qaeda Wing
• It's Your Turn to Change the Tantrum
• Border Crossing
• They Even Have the Nerve to Call it "Football"
• Triumph of the Shrill
• We’d Love to See His Expense Reports
• The Freedom to Ban Gays
• Archive THIS, Government Spy Type!
• Fences Make Good Bankers
• Those Who Love Pi Are Square
• And Crown Thy Good
• Heaven Is Like a Box of Chocolates
• Rove Feels Really Centered
• McAble
• Because the Car Stinks
• Protect and ... What Was the Other Thing?
• Don't Call It Spin. Call It Market-Tested Truth-Telling.
• He's Kinky, and He's Our Man
• Thank You for Eating
• It Slices, It Dices, It Makes Budget Hash
• Another Third Can Find Louisiana But Can't Tell What It's For
• Or Just Curl Up with a Spine-Tingling Webster's Collegiate
• Who Let Them In?
• Plus, They’ll Never Sell the Movie Rights
• Oh, Say!
• She Also Deserves the National Brook Award
• Be Thankful I Don't Take It All
• Martha Stewart's Newest Role Models
• Herd of This Website?
• Bond Fans Shaken, Not Stirred
• You Disrespect My Man But I Ain't Giving Him No Can
• Nation Breaks Out in Hives!
• On the Other Hand, You Can Blame Judas' Ghost Writer
• Is That a Weapon She's Holding?
• Don't Sing This Backwards or You'll Grow Back Hair
• "So, to Answer Your Question: Potato."
• That Folly-Fallen Lewdster, the Times
• Web-Footed Mermen Hunted it to Extinction
• “If You Need Assistance, Hang Up and Scream.”
• Noah’s Lark
• There Went the Neighborhood
• Defibrillator and a Rosary, Stat!
• He Follows the Law Like a Tantony Pig
• Welcome to the Lobbying Effort, Comrade
• We’re Not Worthy
• Invading the Bleak Wasteland Called Can Ah Dah
• Does the Maiden in the Tower Count as a Co-Owner?
• And the World Did Breathe a Meaningful Sigh
• Black and White and Red All Over
• And Now Congress Pauses for a Word from Its Sponsor
• Slap a Bloody Saltie on the Barbie
• In Barry’s Fall, We Sinned All
• Can You Shoplift the Constitution?
• The Capitol Posse Keeps It Real
• Sometimes a Cigar Is Something Else Altogether
• Those Hot-Tempered Arabs
• In Vino Veritas
• The Gang That Shoots Straight
• There Is a Season, Burn, Burn…
• Quail Hunters Would Call It “Blaze Orange”
• So Be Good for Goodness’ Sake
• OK, Forget “Fog.” But Bush Wants to Keep “War.”
• He Called Her “Miss,” and He Meant It to Sting
• I’ll Stay with the Circus, Thanks
• Not to Mention a Muddled Mix of Metaphors
• The Royal “We” Is a Nice Touch
• You’re Fired
• Not That She’s Prejudiced Against Those Ragheads
• Space: The Final Mausoleum
• Afterward, Mr. Rumsfeld Handed Checks to the Reporters.
• Noah? God on Line 2.
• In the Spirit of Non-Partisanship, This Entry Is Almost Entirely Free of Shooting Jokes.
• The Most Frugal President Since Bill Clinton.
• Afterward, Mr. Cheney Had to Suppress the Desire to Shoot Someone Else.
• Call Me Violent Again and I’ll Kill You.
• Testing Uber Alles
• Dude, Your Megaphone Could Get Smaller.
• Don’t You Think the Movie Is Long Enough?
• And This Champagne Is a Sobering Experience
• Cozy But Ethical. What’s There Not to Like?
• Lobbyists Pay Taxes Too, Sometimes.
• Just Say No
• Plus He Supported an Armed Insurrection.
• And the Lord Did Smite Them with Fallacies.
• Congrats on Your Successful Election, Terrorists!
• The Liberals Certainly Are Copulatio
• I Fought the Law and the Law Lost
• Hold Still. I’m Reforming You.
• We See the Blowhard Biting the End of His Pen
• They Trust Me! They Really Trust Me!
• No One Makes Money. It’s Too Profitable.
• Toppings of Mass Destruction
• Yes, Why Not Say It
• Stop It, You’re Killing Me
• He Believes in Believable Beliefs
• I’ll Tell You How, But It’ll Cost You
• Alito: Arch or Flaming?
• Women and Honest Politicians Last
• “I’m Going to Prison” Is a Good Start
• Saddle Up, Patriots, We’re Back on the Campaign Trail
• Bush Prefers “Enemy”
• Bruce Springsteen for Supreme Court!
• Is That an AK-47 Or Are You Glad to See Me?
• A Machine! Let’s Put Money In It!
• Johnny Is So Creative, It’s Scary.
• Another Paradox: “Delicious Eggnog”
• And the Speech Was Made Flesh
• Do Spies Knock?
• The School Board Was Certainly Un-evolved
• They Just Want to Decrease the Surplus Population
• Hurt Me Baby. Make Me Write Bad Bills.
• Except You. You’re Wrong.
• Rhetoric of Mass Destruction
• Let’s Spin It as a Win-Win
• And Medicaid Won’t Pay for the Surgery
• The White House Says More Research Is Needed
• Happy Holidays? I’ll Show You Happy Holidays.
• This Will Hurt Me More Than It Hurts You
• Soon to Gross Out Extraterrestrials
• You Put the Right Wing In, You Put the Left Wing Out…
• Saddam’s Fashion Atrocity
• The Line Reforms Here
• Fat Didn’t Suit Him (No Marvelously Witty Pun Intended)
• Snatching Iraq from the Jaws of Doves
• Attack of the Killer Lepidoptera
• That Depends on Where the Meaning of “Lie” Lies
• Pimp My Hair
• And Thy Hips Are Like a Burger Which Thou Hast Supersized
• Reading This Blog Could Shorten Your Useful Life by 3.7 Minutes
• This Shows the Sound We Want Our Phone to Make
• They Don’t Hold a Candle to You
• Can You Say That Naked?
• Now, That Was a War
• The Early Bird Catches the Flu
• Can’t We Kill the Bike Instead?
• Enough Christian Things for Now, Thanks.
• What Do We Want? Answers! When Do We Want Them? Now!
• Plus She’s Biased: Most of Her Arrests Are Men
• Open Wide and Say “Scandal”
• Does Calling Him “Scalito” Make Him the First Hispanic Nominee?
• You’re Definitely in the Minority, Senator
• Uncle Sam Isn’t Broke, He’s Just Overtaxed
• All the Vice President’s Men
• This Just In: Stupidity Discovered in Washington
• And I’m Like, What Are You Saying?
• Honk if You Hate Noise
• Just Don’t Inhale
• Scooter, That Was a Haiku
• Plead Now! Don’t DeLay!
• Magically Babe-licious
• Does Her Judicial Philosophy Involve Sinking Teeth Into People?
• Long Live King Mike
• God Doesn’t Need a Permit, Either
• Also, the Bride Must Not Drool While Tearing the Wrapping
• Did You Hear the One About Coolidge and the Farmer’s Wife?
• A Delightful Way to Foster Witty Teen-Aged Banter
• Why Daniel Boone Could Have Run FEMA
• See Harriet Judge. Judge, Harriet, Judge.
• What’s O.J.'s Next Gig? A Knife Convention?
• What Do You Call No-Bid Contracting? Halliburtin’.
• The Lobby Bone Is Connected to the House Bone…
• It’s an Ostrich…It’s a Political Appointee… It’s Screwup Man!
• Burning Gas Like There’s No Tomorrow: That’s Sound Energy Policy
• Can We at Least Childproof the White House?
• I Would, But You Forgot to Supply Pens
• Mmmmm….Adult Cartoon Figures!
• The Latest Military Intelligence
• Words Cannot Describe Their Ability
• He Probably Just Ate a Bad Wing
• Bonds Spits...Grabs His Crotch...Takes a Call from His Agent...
• Mr. Crowe, Step Away From the Telephone
• "Now Go Away or I Will Taunt You a Second Time."
• And Which Beatle Is Closest to Your Judicial Philosophy?
• It’s a Whole New Ballgame. Which Sucks.
• We Googled Our Sex Life But Couldn’t Find It
• Wanted: Caring, Sensitive Idiot
• And Not a Single Complaint from the Deceased
• He Can Follow a Recipe, But Can He Cook?
• Unbelievable
• Next, He'll Give New Orleans a Tax Break
• A Fatwa on the Paparazzi!
• “Arrange Those @*%# Flowers, Yo”
• Brad & Jen’s Plumbing Clogged by Used Tabloid!
• Languaging at Its Best
• When the Quoting Gets Tough, the Tough Get Quoting
• “I Only Said ‘Terminate With Extreme Prejudice’.”
• Of All the Figures in All the Gin Joints …
• Negative Sunnis Are Not Very Positive
• Uncle Sparky's Cabin
• We’ll Make You an Intern if You Wear a Thong
• “He Had Suckled at My…Uh, This Is Off the Record.”
• The "P" Is Suing for Abandonment
• Can’t She Just Give Bush Some Money?
• Eat Right, Be a Stick Figure
• Book: Billie Jean Not Jackson’s Lover
• Plus He Kicked a Dog When He Was Ten
• Now Explain Nipples for Men
• That’s fubar, imho
• And Wait Till the Tea Leaves
• We Apologize in Advance for This Offensive Photo
• Don't Call It a War
• D'oh!
• Suffer the Little Stem Cells
• “Popular Will?” Isn’t That a LIBERAL Term?
• "One Nation Under God (Except for the Blue States)"
• If Bill Had Great Interns, Then Hillary...
• Five Reasons We Belong Together: Ooh, Ooh, Ooh, Ooh, Ooh
• Yogiisms Don't Make Sense Till You Get Them
• Can I Have Instability Sprinkles with That?
• Corpses Come to Life! And Stimulate the Economy!
• “Gimme five, Supreme Boy!”
• I'm, like, totally there!
• "I'm Not Going to Say It, But I Will"