We’ll Make You an Intern if You Wear a Thong

Quote: "I think if there were a president in my party again, no matter who it was, and I was asked to do anything, I would do it. Anything!" Bill Clinton, in an interview with New York magazine

Figure of Speech: optatio (op TOT ee oh), exclamation of desire

America's neediest ex-president wants something—anything—to do, so he expresses it in one of the more debasing figures, the optatio (from the Latin optare, to desire). Earnestly expressing a wish can throw you at the mercy of political opponents; it's far better to make yourself aloofly available.

But then, we already knew that Bill's available. God, is he available.

Snappy Answer: "What do you mean, 'If?'"

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