We Apologize in Advance for This Offensive Photo

Quote: “There’s no way to apologize for such a sin.” San Francisco Giants manager Felipe Alou, in repsonse to an apology by radio host Larry Krueger.  The radio station suspended Krueger after he called the Giants “brain-dead Caribbean players hacking at slop nightly.”  Krueger also said of Alou:  “You have in Felipe a manager whose mind has turned to Cream of Wheat.”

Figure of Speech:  indignatio (in dig NOT ee oh), the figure of scorn

Felipe Alou could have told Krueger to stick a spoon in it.  Instead, Alou upped the ante and labeled the insult a “sin.”  Not just any sin, either—such a sin. Maybe a deadly one.  (We always forget which sin comes after lust.)

Ordinarily, when you drag God into a debate, don’t look for a consensus.  An argument has to do with persuasion and public opinion, while religion is about faith and an omniscient authority.  But in this case, Krueger has a heavenly appeal.  At least one religion gets you out of a sin if you say you’re sorry and mean it.  It’s called Christianity.

Snappy Answer:   "What do you suggest instead?  Hell?"

Indignatio isn’t so much an expression of indignation as an attempt to make an audience see your adversary as a jerk.  When you use the figure, just make sure you don’t come off as a bigger jerk.