Quote: "Whatever he does, Dick will do it his own way, because whatever he does, it will be the subject of ridicule." Alan Simpson, former Wyoming senator, in the Washington Post.
Figure of Speech: ceratin (se RAT in), the horns of a dilemma.
The Shooter in Chief (Senator Lott's moniker, not ours) is damned if he does and damned if he doesn't. Alan Simpson describes the veep's condition with a ceratin, which comes from the Greek word for "horns."
Poor Cheney can't get a break. Now the shooting victim seems to have birdshot in his heart among the mystifying "six to 200" other pellets, according to doctors. Dick must be furious at the guy. But we may never know, unless the dwindling number of un-indicted and un-shot cronies starts to blab.
We have a suggestion for any leaker: stay out of range.
Snappy Answer: "What if we promise not to laugh?"