Sacred Cowardice

On this Label Monday, we aim our figurative beam at the faceless fat cats behind an explosion of political attack advertising. In the infamous Citizens United case, the plumply feline Supreme Court bestowed human status on corporations. The American left went ballistic. A corporate takeover of American politics! But it’s not the corporations we should be afraid of. It’s the anonymity. This year alone, anonymous donors spent $132.5 million to sway elections. As we’ve seen on the Internet and on our highways, anonymity kills responsible debate.

The dough needs a label, and Figaro is here to provide it: anonymoney. It’s the root of much political evil. (Once again, we apply a portmanteau to labeling. This mash-up figure lets you associate two different concepts in one word to achieve rhetorical hybrid vigor.)

The American Founders risked their lives, fortunes, and sacred honor. America’s rich and powerful won’t even risk their comfort.

Comments

[Sentennia]

"Anonymice" is another term I've heard. I like that it implies cowardice.

[Figaro]

Yes, it does, Sent., but it fails to convey the danger those vermin pose to our republic.

[Lanny]

Actually, I prefer "Sacred Cowardice." Though I guess that doesn't directly speak to your point. It'd make a great label for the Catholic Church's cover-up of priestly child abuse!

[Figaro]

Indeed it would, Lanny.

[John Faxon]

What I don't get is why people aren't angrier at the super-rich. These days we worship anyone with a lot of money, because we presume they earned it or can "create jobs." In most cases, neither is true.

[Rick Winston]

What about the legitimate argument that anonymous speech is protected by the First Amendment's freedom of assembly?

[Figaro]

Anonymity isn't mentioned in the Constitution, Rick. Which judicial conservatives have abandoned their principles long enough to interpret the concept into the amendment?

[Cristian]

Freedom of Assembly applies to people, or has money been given the same rights as people in the US?

[Nosybear]

Unfortunately, the dough already has a label: Baksheesh.