It’s Label Monday again! Today we have a special installment for you. Figaro is a political independent with a strong dislike of the Democratic Party. But he also loves an underdog, and rhetorically speaking, the Democrats are tail-dragging, drooling underdogs. So every now and then we attempt to even things up. Today we translate Republican labels. Let the flaming begin!
Political correctness: When a liberal gets offended.
Treason: When a conservative gets offended.
Constitution: The Second Amendment.
The little guy: Business.
Small business: Big business.
Big government: Government.
Freedom: Doing what I want.
Security: Keeping you from doing what you want.
Reform: Government programs I like.
Socialism: Government programs I don’t like.
Tax reform: Tax cuts.
Job creators: Rich people.
Gay agenda: Being gay.
Competition: When I win.
Corruption: When I lose.
Soft on crime: Pro-innocent.
Tax increase: Expiration of “temporary” tax cuts passed under President George W. Bush.
Birthers: People who refuse to believe that President Obama was born.
War fighters: Soldiers.
War on Christmas: Saying “happy holidays.”
Democrat Party: Democratic Party.
Illegals: Undocumented workers.
Family values: The Gospel according to Ozzie and Harriet.
So-called science: Science.
Unions: Teachers, police, and firefighters.
Main Street: Local strip mall.
Scripture: The parts of the Bible I like.
God: The deity who founded America and who happens to agree with me on everything.
Jesus: Me, when I don’t want to talk about myself.
America: High-income Caucasians who live in the former Confederacy or wish they did.
From www.Figarospeech.com: Figures Served Fresh