Right-Wing Labels Translated

It’s Label Monday again!  Today we have a special installment for you. Figaro is a political independent with a strong dislike of the Democratic Party. But he also loves an underdog, and rhetorically speaking, the Democrats are tail-dragging, drooling underdogs. So every now and then we attempt to even things up. Today we translate Republican labels.  Let the flaming begin!

Political correctness: When a liberal gets offended.

Treason: When a conservative gets offended.

Constitution: The Second Amendment.

The little guy: Business.

Small business: Big business.

Big government: Government.

Freedom: Doing what I want.

Security: Keeping you from doing what you want.

Reform: Government programs I like.

Socialism: Government programs I don’t like.

Tax reform: Tax cuts.

Job creators:  Rich people.

Gay agenda: Being gay.

Competition: When I win.

Corruption: When I lose.

Pro-life: Pro-embryo.

Soft on crime: Pro-innocent.

Tax increase: Expiration of “temporary” tax cuts passed under President George W. Bush.

Birthers: People who refuse to believe that President Obama was born.

War fighters: Soldiers.

War on Christmas: Saying “happy holidays.”

Democrat Party: Democratic Party.

Illegals: Undocumented workers.

Family values: The  Gospel according to Ozzie and Harriet.

So-called science: Science.

Unions: Teachers, police, and firefighters.

Main Street: Local strip mall.

Scripture: The parts of the Bible I like.

God: The deity who founded America and who happens to agree with me on everything.

Jesus: Me, when I don’t want to talk about myself.

America: High-income Caucasians who live in the former Confederacy or wish they did.

From www.Figarospeech.com: Figures Served Fresh 

Comments

[Content]

Fantastic. I particularly like "The Gospel according to Ozzie and Harriet". Are you going to do Democratic labels for next week? Because I bet your readers could come up with a few!

[Quintilian B. Nasty]

I'd also like to see "Left-Wing Labels Translated," and I'm saying that from the perspective of someone who usually votes for candidates of the "Democrat Party."

[Figaro]

While I'd love to come up with left-wing labels, the sad thing is that the left wing doesn't DO labels. The right has a monopoly on the best political tropes.

[Content]

If the left doesn't do labels, what do they do? There are a few "lefties" that can be persuasive... What's a common leftist rhetorical trick? Er - method?

[diskgrinder]

ironically, what the left does is be right

[technologist]

"While I'd love to come up with left-wing labels, the sad thing is that the left wing doesn't DO labels. The right has a monopoly on the best political tropes."

Do tell. How about "Tea Bagger", "Extreme" and "Nazi" for starters?

[diskgrinder]

@technologist I prefer "idiot", "mouthbreather" and "scrotal infection"

[Nick Taylor]

I'd say that "freedom" was actually "zero corporate regulation"