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    Right-Wing Labels Translated

    It’s Label Monday again!  Today we have a special installment for you. Figaro is a political independent with a strong dislike of the Democratic Party. But he also loves an underdog, and rhetorically speaking, the Democrats are tail-dragging, drooling underdogs. So every now and then we attempt to even things up. Today we translate Republican labels.  Let the flaming begin!

    Political correctness: When a liberal gets offended.

    Treason: When a conservative gets offended.

    Constitution: The Second Amendment.

    The little guy: Business.

    Small business: Big business.

    Big government: Government.

    Freedom: Doing what I want.

    Security: Keeping you from doing what you want.

    Reform: Government programs I like.

    Socialism: Government programs I don’t like.

    Tax reform: Tax cuts.

    Job creators:  Rich people.

    Gay agenda: Being gay.

    Competition: When I win.

    Corruption: When I lose.

    Pro-life: Pro-embryo.

    Soft on crime: Pro-innocent.

    Tax increase: Expiration of “temporary” tax cuts passed under President George W. Bush.

    Birthers: People who refuse to believe that President Obama was born.

    War fighters: Soldiers.

    War on Christmas: Saying “happy holidays.”

    Democrat Party: Democratic Party.

    Illegals: Undocumented workers.

    Family values: The  Gospel according to Ozzie and Harriet.

    So-called science: Science.

    Unions: Teachers, police, and firefighters.

    Main Street: Local strip mall.

    Scripture: The parts of the Bible I like.

    God: The deity who founded America and who happens to agree with me on everything.

    Jesus: Me, when I don’t want to talk about myself.

    America: High-income Caucasians who live in the former Confederacy or wish they did.


    From www.Figarospeech.com: Figures Served Fresh 

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    Reader Comments (8)

    Fantastic. I particularly like "The Gospel according to Ozzie and Harriet". Are you going to do Democratic labels for next week? Because I bet your readers could come up with a few!
    April 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterContent
    I'd also like to see "Left-Wing Labels Translated," and I'm saying that from the perspective of someone who usually votes for candidates of the "Democrat Party."
    April 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterQuintilian B. Nasty
    While I'd love to come up with left-wing labels, the sad thing is that the left wing doesn't DO labels. The right has a monopoly on the best political tropes.
    April 19, 2011 | Registered CommenterFigaro
    If the left doesn't do labels, what do they do? There are a few "lefties" that can be persuasive... What's a common leftist rhetorical trick? Er - method?
    April 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterContent
    ironically, what the left does is be right
    April 19, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdiskgrinder
    "While I'd love to come up with left-wing labels, the sad thing is that the left wing doesn't DO labels. The right has a monopoly on the best political tropes."

    Do tell. How about "Tea Bagger", "Extreme" and "Nazi" for starters?
    April 19, 2011 | Unregistered Commentertechnologist
    @technologist I prefer "idiot", "mouthbreather" and "scrotal infection"
    April 19, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdiskgrinder
    I'd say that "freedom" was actually "zero corporate regulation"
    April 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNick Taylor

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