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Figaro rips the innards out of things people say and reveals the rhetorical tricks and pratfalls. For terms and definitions, click here.
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    Figaro's Favorite Campaign Ad

    The ad—brought to you by Newt Gingrich’s “Take that, Bain Boy”superpac—accuses Mitt Romney of being (a) from Massachusetts and (b) French. You know, like John Kerry.

    The voiceover employs a dirimens copulatio, the but-wait there’s more figure. (Here’s an explanation and pronunciation.) You see the device a lot on infomercials: But that’s not all! This thing not only slices and dices, it speaks French! 

    Quibblers might say that the clip actually proves that Mitt actually can’t speak French. He mouths third-grade Frog with an accent that’s positively gauche.

    Others might say that Massachusetts—you know, that place with one of the lowest unemployment rates, highest education levels, most innovative health care, and most annoying accent—isn’t something to be entirely embarrassed about. 

    But Figaro knows for a fact that some of those Massholes actually know foreign languages. Which makes anyone from that state completely unqualified to be president.

    So why do we love the ad? Because of the Frenchy music in the background! It’s so bad that it makes it impossible to see Kerry—um, we mean Romney—without thinking of a bagette. First-rate ethos work, Newtons!

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    Reader Comments (5)

    Surely you remember the last president to come from Massachusetts, the one who famously said, "Ich bin ein Berliner"?
    January 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStacey Almott
    Ah, but John F. Kennedy proved himself a true American by botching the grammar. "Ich bin Berliner" means "I am a Berliner."

    "Ich bin EIN Berliner" means "I am a jelly pastry."
    January 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFigaro
    January 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStephen
    Well, that's interesting. I learned that my freshman year at Middlebury College, where Professor Huber--a piratical-looking man from East Germany who had long hair with bobby pins--taught German.
    January 13, 2012 | Registered CommenterFigaro
    "bagette" - baguette!
    May 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJB

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