Figaro Rewrites a Half-Naked Woman

Want to persuade? Keep it simple. Start by not talking like a Women’s Studies major.

Jezebel’s Dodai Stewart commits the rhetorical sin of unnecessary complexity with her take on Sport’s Illustrated’s latest swimsuit issue:

This photo cements stereotypes, perpetuates an imbalance in the power dynamic, is reminiscent of centuries of colonialism (and indentured servitude) and serves as a good example of both creating a centrality of whiteness and using “exotic” people as fashion props.

Having stared at the picture judiciously, Figaro agrees with Ms. Stewart. The photo is truly offensive. But whiteness centrality and imbalances in the power dynamic? Phrases like these only trigger spontaneous eye-rolling. 

Instead of multisyllabic bloviation, let’s try good ol’ ridicule, focusing on the photo’s most cringe-worthy aspect. How? By turning it into an offensive cartoon. Got a better balloon? Tell us!

Comments

[Elizabeth]

"After he ferries me to my morning yoga class, he cleans my house and looks after my kids - and no worries about those pesky US minimum wage laws!"

[Silly Spoon]

"We tried to hire an old white toothless ferryman, but China doesn't make those... Yet."

[jayne]

What's up with this? Even his birds won't look at my PhotoShopped navel.

[Anne D]

Woman: "I keep a coverup handy in case any men show up."

[justlooking]

Interestingly, I feel like the irony of this image is lost on the viewers. I saw two marginalized peoples justaposed to one another. A half naked objectified woman used by Madison Avenue to create marketable dissatisfaction with self and other and the exotic other, the traveller's fantasy of a world separate from commodification.

[Pilgrin]

She likes my pole