“I’m Going to Prison” Is a Good Start
Quote: "Your Honor, words will not be able to ever express how sorry I am for this..." Uberlobbyist Jack Abramoff
Figure of Speech: aporia (a POR ia), the figure of doubt.
Abramoff’s court-enforced contrition has stopped a number of hearts on Capitol Hill. The lobbyist bilked millions out of Indian tribes and made shady deals with an untold bevy of Congressmen. And having copped a plea, Abramoff plans to sing. He uses an aporia as a form of hyperbole—his emotion is so strong, words cannot describe it.
Good thing Congress doesn't have a reputation to sully.
Snappy Answer: "The words we want to hear have 'Member of Congress'’ in front of them."
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