Annoy a Moderate. Make Stupid Bumper Stickers.

From Ask Figaro:

Hi,
There is a bumper sticker that reads, “Annoy a Liberal, Succeed, Be Happy.”  What kind of argument is that?  A fallacy? Thanks,
Diahn

Dear Diahn,

When I say tomato, do you say tomahto? I ask not just because of the way you spell your name. Like your annoying quotation, my question is an isocolon (Greek for “equal member”), a figure that repeats phrases or clauses of similar length. 

We won’t call a foul on the bumper sticker, because it’s within bounds to imply that liberals, egalitarian souls that they are, would resent a self-made fat cat.  But surely the right can do better than that.  How about “Annoy a Liberal, Inherit Money, Say You Earned It?”  No, that wouldn’t quite work either. “Annoy a Liberal, Shoot a Burglar” might be closer to the mark.  Figaro prefers, “Annoy a Liberal, Make a Bumper Sticker That Begins with ‘Annoy a Liberal.’”

Any other suggestions for annoying liberals and conservatives?

Fig.

Comments

[Fosterchild]

"Annoy a Liberal, Talk About Freedom."

[Marfa]

"I Don't Care Enough About Liberals/Conservatives to Annoy Them"

[John]

Annoy Printers. Don't Buy Bumper Stickers.

[Elise]

Annoy a Conservative: Marry Gay, Be Happy

[Tomas]

I don't see why conservatives are called "conservative." They seem to be the ones who want to change this country. So here's my contribution to annoy the far right:

I'm a Conservative. I Believe in Civil Rights.

[Sentient]

"But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth."

[Figaro]

Nice one, Sentient. It's interesting that Matthew 6 has the right hand giving to the poor. Which inspires another bumper sticker:

"Annoy a conservative. Quote Jesus."

Fig.

[Figaro]

I guess in fairness, I should annoy a liberal now.

"Annoy a liberal. Quote Jesus."

Fig.

[Vardibidian]

I've forgotten the word for the trick of using words that sound the same as if they meant the same, but how about

Annoy a Conservative—Conserve the world!

Although in actual politics, far too many choices seem to be made on the basis that whatever annoys the other side must be good—and whatever the other side is doing, must be solely to annoy our side.

My lefty friends would probably hand-letter (rather than purchase) signs that said something like "Annoy a liberal—advocate real change!"

Thanks,
-V.

[Figaro]

Your conservative/conserve figure is a polyptoton (po-lip-TOE-ton), which repeats the root of a word in a different form.

Fig.

[blake]

all you have to do to annoy a liberal is make him read the newspaper.

your pal,
blake

[Figaro]

Great bumper sticker, Blake. It probably would work for both liberals and conservatives.

Fig.

[Kirk Muse]

Annoy a CONservative: Do your own thinking

[Figaro]

See today's image, Kirk.

Fig.

[John]

Annoy a conservative, cut spending, and support small government.

[Spencer]

What do you call the figure of changing a title, idiom, or known statement slightly, like we're all doing here?

[Linda]

Are these slightly different forms of the same "argument" snow clones?

[Figaro]

They are indeed snowclones (they're clones, so you use one word). They're figures that change a cliche for a new purpose. See http://www.figarospeech.com/it-figures/naked-is-the-new-clothed.html

[Shannon]

Hey Fig how about:

"Annoy a conservative/liberal, challenge their beliefs in a constructive, rational and delibrative manner"

or to put it simply...

"Annoy a conservative/liberal, listen to both sides of the argument"

[Figaro]

That reminds me of the Calvin & Hobbes strip, where Calvin wonders why superheroes don't battle more realistic villains. Hobbes suggests that the heroes send letters to the editor and shouts, "Quick, to the Bat-Fax!"

Fig.